Who am I ?

hippyjamfest:

I want to join your hardcore band but my mom wants to talk to your mom first

(via unsuccessfulmetalbenders)

19,593 notes ~ reblog

nyozeka:

i hope my first child is a dragon

(via dangerousbride)

19,182 notes ~ reblog

64kbps:

atherys:

64kbps:

why does tumblr feel the need to ship everything

because we’ll never have relationships of our own

ow

(Source: shalrath, via yourprinceandsaviorkurloz)

24,643 notes ~ reblog

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megaman2:

megaman2:

“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”

“no, i said she was fucking goofy”

please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother

(via small-town-favourite)

87,051 notes ~ reblog

mercuriesrising:

kirbyrightbackatya:

night-creeping-rascal:

kankristhighhighs:

In art class my friend rolled himself in bubble wrap and stayed like that the whole day. When he sat down in our math class the teacher told him to take it off and he didn’t want to so he said “long live the king” and rolled out the door and down the hallway. And all you could hear was the faint popping of the bubblewrap as he rolled away. My teacher never went after him.

#some people are destined for greatness

its always the math teacher who tells you you cant

Yes good.

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theambiguoushero:

I am vengeance.

I am the night.

I

am

(via crimsoncards)

13,050 notes ~ reblog

remanth:

bronzedragon:

tomfelton-andthe-cumber-cocks:

strawberriesandjane:

funsizedfox:

“they won’t let me eat,wont let me sleep..”
“who?”
“…..them.”

Oh.

I AM CRYING

I remember reading about how EA was trying to sell the rights to make The Sims into a movie and everyone was like “…how?”
Now I get it
It’s a horror movie
People wake up one day to find themselves transformed into puppets of an invisible malicious trickster god
First the bizarre happenings start:
someone becomes obsessed with stealing lawn gnomes
another person has a compulsion to stick their head into a strange device and emerges obsessed by grilled cheese sandwiches
people pee themselves despite being next to a bathroom because some mysterious unseen force makes them study cleaning
people find themselves stuck in rooms because they can’t step over common household objects
a young man doing some nighttime stargazing mysteriously vanishes
then their god turns sadistic
pool ladders mysteriously vanish, leading to several drownings
doors vanish just as a house fire begins
an elevator plummets several stories as a couple starts to get it on
a Murphy Bed gruesomely folds up, crushing the people inside
and that man who vanished while stargazing returns…but with something growing inside of him…and vague memories of a grotesque creature named Pollination Technician
the horror has begun

This sounds like a Supernatural episode with Gabriel as the culprit.

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flutterlings:

the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”

(via crimsoncards)

67,077 notes ~ reblog

ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.

(via nellliel)

54,210 notes ~ reblog

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